No More Helmet!!!

So I've been wanting to catch up with my blog in the right order, but my next blog is our trip to TX and I don't know if I have the patience right now to wait for all the pictures to upload, so I'm going to skip that for now and move on to our exciting news.
Most people know, but I need to get it down in writing. Linken is FINALLY helmet free!!! On March 11th we (just me and three kids as always) headed to Utah for Linken's one year post-op appointment with the surgeon. As always, we met with Mike, at Shield's Prosthetics, first where he takes pictures of Links head then scans Link on a fancy machine to get a three-D graphic enabling him to measure Links' head growth. It is still incredible to me all the math/smarts that goes into developing the helmet, and Kynadi's brace as well. But anyway, that's besides the point, Mike said he looked good, the helmet looked good, but it was up to Dr. Siddiqui, the surgeon to determine if it got to come off. So off we went with the scans and ratio's up to Dr. Siddiqui's office, this time at The University of Utah Hospital. I'm going to digress for a min...

Dr. Siddiqui is actually a plastic surgeon so I always amuse myself going into his Uof U office rather than his one at Primay Children's. Obviously at Primary Children's you aren't seeing a plastic surgeon for the same reasons an adult would see him at Uof U. So I'm always judging (I know unrighteously) the people that come in, wondering what kind of plastic sugery they will be getting, or have gotten. It makes me chuckle a bit. I'm sure most people are not there for "optional" plastic surgery, but I still let my mind make up stories.
Also, we always have to wait forever at U of U, but this time I was intrigued by the police officers bringing two convicts in shackles up the hall and into a little holding spot right outside the open waiting room doors. I kept wondering what they were doing there. And the police just had them wait there the whole time we were there. I still wish I could ask what was going on. I'm so nosy! But I'll move on since I'm not sure why any of that matters.

So we met with Dr. Siddiqui and he felt the top of Links head and says all the bone, except one little spot, has grown in and that he looks great. He continues to tell us we don't need the helmet anymore!!!! YIPPEE! I wanted to say, "good, because I've been pretty lienent with him wearing it anyway", but decided against that and just thanked him instead. Now we only have to go back once a year for five years, which beats every other month like it was for awhile.
Well, while we were walking back out to the car I was caught up in the excitement of knowing we didn't have to deal with the helmet anymore and told the girls excitedly that Linken was finished with it. Surprsingly to me Kynadi burst out, "that's not fair". This is when I realized what a hard moment it was for her. She still has to wear her brace. Poor thing. She asked when she will get to stop wearing it, but we really don't know. My poor little four year old has been in a brace before Linken was even born (Brooklyn too in fact) and now she's seen Linken from the beginning to the end of his helmet and there is no end in sight for her. I felt guilty for being so happy for Link and can't wait for the day when Kynadi can see an end to hers as well.

As we drove away the whole thing was strangely a bit bitter sweet for me. I don't know if it was because of the conversation and realization I had with Kynadi or just knowing we had come to the "end" of that stage of Link's short life. I'm not sure how to explain what I felt or if I completely understand it. Of course I was happy we are done with the helmet and my little Linken is healthy and doing well. But part of me was sad. I think it may be that as I have seen so many different children in the halls and rooms at Primay Children's I have realized how special they really are. Everytime I go there I realize how precious life is and how unimportant all the worldly things are. I hope others feel that when they are there. Something about children suffering (whether a little or a lot) puts life in a whole different perspective. Linken is past that stage now, and although the helmet is gone, he was one of those special children I had seen in the halls and in my heart he still is. I guess in some ways I feel since he doesn't have the helmet to mark him as one of those special children I fear others won't see him that way. I don't know. I am sooo happy and grateful to have a healthy boy, but it was definitly an emotional day.